When you become pregnant, you immediately get initiated into a secret society of camaraderie and support where other mothers finally accept you as “part of the group.” Sharing the bond of motherhood is part of the human quilt that threads us together as females. But it can also become a time of competition, struggle, and frustration as each and every one of us has differing opinions and ideas about what is best for our families.
Suddenly, a single post on Facebook or a decision in regard to your pregnancy or childbirth, or method of raising your infant can ignite fire among family and friends who disagree with you. Suddenly, your decision to breastfeed or not, to cloth diaper or use disposables, to put your child in nursery school or stay home is seemingly up for public scrutiny. Then, you realize that the threads that bind us together can also pull apart at the seams and you begin to search for like-minded mothers to bond with.
It’s important to realize as you become a mother that not everyone is going to agree with you, and that no mother is perfect. Every mother is learning as she goes, and the decisions you make – will be different from those of even your best friend or loved one. It is unnecessary to feel as though you have to defend your parenting decisions or explain to others the choices you make as a mother, even during pregnancy. Certainly, everyone has their own opinion (including you) and few hesitate to give it. But that doesn’t mean that you have to feel as though a disagreement, or difference of opinion when it comes to parenting is enough to break-up a relationship. In other words, we all have to learn to agree to disagree with one another, and to feel confident enough in our decisions and choices as mothers to not get baited into every argument that comes our way.
In fact, instead of trying to feel validated by others, use the differences to learn and to gather ideas. Use reason to keep your mind open to new and differing ways of doing things. You never know, one day the advice (even unsolicited) may come in handy. Our children do not come with instruction manuals, and the truth is, we really can learn from one another. We really can mother differently but still get along and find the much needed support and love that comes from sharing the common bond of motherhood.
Your best bet is to not get involved in the mama wars. Remember, you don’t have to show up to every battle you’re invited to. Stand your ground, and always remember that you know what is best for you, your pregnancy, your baby and your family. At the end of the day, we are all in this together – and we all need one another’s support most of all.
Written By Stef, Mom of 4 @Momspirational
This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2018. All rights reserved.