Motherhood, like pregnancy, is meant to be filled with sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, right? Moms are always happy and filled with joy. After all, motherhood is the best job is the world. Isn’t it?
Erm, no, not always. Sometimes motherhood sucks. Sometimes being a mom is all about being covered in crap, cleaning up puke and listening to babies scream. It’s not always fun or wonderful, like anything else in life, it has its bad days.
It’s perfectly ok for you to not love every minute of motherhood. Singing nursery rhymes and spending hours talking about poop isn’t for everyone. Looking after a baby all day can be tough. The baby can’t talk back, so you may find yourself feeling bored at times. You may also find the repetitive chores of diaper changes and feeds to be tiring sometimes, especially when they seem to fill your entire day.
Here are a few things to try if you feel you’re not enjoying motherhood:
- Let go of the guilt
There is nothing wrong with not loving motherhood. You’re allowed to have bad days. You’re allowed to have days where you don’t want to change another diaper. You can have days where you’re bored out of your mind. It’s fine, it’s normal. Every mom feels like that sometimes. You don’t need to feel guilty because you’re not a picture of the joyous mom you see represented in the media. You’re a real person, you’re going to have bad days.
- Talk about it
You don’t need to keep these feelings to yourself. This isn’t a hideous secret you need to take to your grave. In fact, talking about it with friends might just help you to see how normal these feelings are. You’re not a terrible mom, you’re just like everybody else. Speak to your close friends about how you feel, and let your partner in on it too. While your mom friends will be able to reassure you that what you’re feeling is normal, your partner may be able to free up a little me-time for you so you can de-stress.
- Get out of the house
A change of scenery can do the world of good when you’re having a bad day. If it’s just you and the baby stuck at home all day, getting out of the house might cheer you up. Pack your diaper bag, grab your handbag and head off on an adventure. You could meet up with some mom friends for a coffee or head out for a walk in the countryside. Do whatever you think will lift your mood. You deserve a treat, being a mom isn’t easy, so head out and enjoy yourself.
- Recognize your triumphs
It’s easy to obsess over your perceived feelings. If you feel like everything is going wrong at the moment, that’s probably more to do with your mood than anything else. When you feel negative, it’s all too easy to only see the negative things around you. Spend some time focusing on the good things in life. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Make a list of all the reasons you’re a great mom and refer to it whenever you’re feeling down.
- Ask for help
If you’re worried that perhaps the way you’re feeling isn’t normal, you should ask your healthcare provider for advice. Postpartum depression is treatable, but you need to reach out for help before you can get treatment. Nobody will judge you for speaking up, so be honest and ask for help if you think you need it.
Do you sometimes feel like you’re not enjoying motherhood?
Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.
This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.