Everyone knows that the first few months of new parenthood can be challenging. Your entire world has just been turned upside down, and as much as you may have hoped and prayed for this change, you’re still getting less sleep, less time for yourself, and less time for your relationship.
It’s okay to admit that parts of that are hard.
What people may not necessarily realize, though, is that some of those things can be even more challenging with adoption.
Typically, when you are caring for an infant you brought home through adoption, it means that you fought even harder and longer for this chance to become a parent than your peers who are also tackling the newborn days. Adoption doesn’t happen easily, and if you are here now, it is because you battled to get here.
You think of that battle every time you look at this little one you already love so much. But you also probably think of the complications. The fact that maybe your adoption isn’t finalized yet, which can always create a fear of minds being changed and your baby being ripped away from you. Even if, legally, that isn’t likely to happen at this point… it is a normal fear to have.
Then there are the complications of navigating an open adoption; a dynamic most adoptions have shifted towards in recent years, but one which isn’t necessarily clearly defined. There are no set rules for what an open adoption looks like, and it can sometimes be difficult to find a path that works best for all parties involved.
Perhaps mostly, though, is the fear that you might not be making the right choices along the way. You want to do what is best for your baby; of course you do! But you also may be struggling with a bit of jealousy on your end when it comes to that other family. It’s hard to acknowledge that someone else got to carry your baby for 9 months, and that they may have a connection with your little one that will forever be different from your own.
None of these challenges or struggles makes you any less-than as a parent. But they can be difficult to navigate through, especially when you feel a bit alone in the challenges you are facing; none of your other friends in the new baby stage are up against quite the same things you are.
That’s why it can be so important in these early months to connect with other adoptive parents. There are amazing support groups online for parents of transracial adoption, and countless blogs and pages dedicated specifically to providing information and support to parents through adoption.
You are not alone in navigating this path. And your love for your baby will be the shining light that continues to guide you through!
Written by Leah Campbell, infertility advocate, adoptive mama, writer and editor. Find me @sifinalaska on Twitter.
This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general informational basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.