Defining Moments of Being a Dad

Fatherhood may be something you always knew you wanted or a job that was not even on your radar. But now that you’re a dad, you know it’s a unique and wonderful experience that has its share of challenges. There may be days when you’re not sure if you’re doing it right. Fortunately, there are also days you realize you got this. Through it all, there are defining moments when you understand your life has changed forever, such as the following:

Realizing instead of carrying around guy stuff, you’re now packing wipes, binkies and diapers: Yep, that’s right. Although you still find a pocket for your cellphone and wallet, you also never leave home without an adequate supply of baby essentials.

Coming to terms with the fact that you are responsible for the well-being of another little person for at least the next 18 years: It might happen when you meet your little one for the first time or a bit later on down the road. But sooner or later it will hit you. You are now responsible for this little love who needs and depends on you. When it happens, it will be overwhelming and amazing at the same time.

Understanding it’s not all about you: Sure, you may still want to hang out with your buddies at times or sleep in on the weekend, but one defining moment of being a dad is realizing there are sacrifices to make, and you’re OK with that.

Feeling content right where you are: It’s Saturday night, and you’re at home hanging out with your little one lying on your chest. The best part is, there is no place you would rather be.

You discovered you have an opinion on pacifiers, formula and strollers: In your pre-baby life, you may not have known what a bottle warmer or onesie even was. But now you not only know what they are, you have an opinion on which baby gadgets are must-haves.

Knowing all the worries and sacrifices are worth it: Most new dads worry from time to time. It comes with the territory. No one may have prepared you for the challenges fatherhood brings. Let’s face it, being a dad is a hard job, which takes patience, sacrifices, time and commitment. But through it all, you know there is no other job in the world you would rather have, which makes you a pretty lucky guy!

Written by MaryAnn De Pietro @writerlady34

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

Is it Time to Start Trying For a Second Baby?

When and how to build upon your family is always such a personal decision. But it seems that for those who do want more children, around one year of age is when the discussion of, “Is now the time for a second baby?” starts to crop up.

That’s because your baby has somehow morphed in the last 12 months from a helpless little being who sucked you of all your time, sleep, and energy, into an interactive and ever-changing little person who seems more and more grownup every single day.

Still, are you ready for a second child already?

Well… again, that’s personal. But there are plenty of factors to consider. Including:

  • Desire: Do both members of your relationship feel ready and excited about trying again? Or is one still on the fence and wanting to wait a bit longer?
  • Timing: Does your little one seem like he or she might be ready for a sibling within the next year? Or do you think your family could still use a bit more time adjusting to your family of three dynamic before adding a fourth?
  • Age: While no couple wants to allow age to be a determining factor in whether or not they try to conceive, the reality is that after 35, your chances of getting pregnant do go down. So it’s fair to take your biological clock into consideration, especially if you had any issues conceiving the first time around.
  • Money: Can you afford a second child at this point? Does that mean two daycare tuitions? Or extra diapers? Or formula?
  • Space: Do you have room in your home to accommodate a second child?

There is no perfect point at which to begin considering a second child. For some families, keeping the little ones close in age is important—they like the idea of a less than two year age gap that will encourage siblings to play together in the years to come. For other families, larger age gaps seem to have been ideal—they brag about how nice it is to have an older sibling who can help with the baby, and who is cognitively aware of why having a new baby might mean a little less attention is paid to them.

There is no one right answer here. The best you can do is to discuss the various factors with your partner, and then come up with a plan together on when you may be ready to start trying again. Most doctors recommend waiting at least a year after a child’s birth before attempting to get pregnant once more, simply because a woman’s body needs time to recover from all that pregnancy and labor put it through. But you’re there. So if you decide that now is the time to begin trying for your second: good luck!

Written by Leah Campbell, infertility advocate, adoptive mama, writer and editor. Find me @sifinalaska on Twitter.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general informational basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

Is Your Baby Bashful?

Similar to older children and adults, certain babies may be more extroverted than others. For instance, some babies kick their little legs, smile and coo at every stranger they see. While other babies may be a bit more reserved and even seem a little shy.

It can sometimes be difficult to tell if your baby is shy or just going through a normal developmental stage. For example, if your little one cries or buries his head in your chest when friends come over, stranger anxiety may be to blame. Even friendly, easygoing babies may become clingy at a certain stage.

Although all babies may go through a period of clinging to mom and dad, shy babies may seem to hold on for dear life. Shy babies may also resist new things and get upset when faced with a new situation. Still, you may not know if your baby is shy until he is a toddler or even older.

Keep in mind, shyness may be somewhat genetic. It may just be a part of your baby’s personality to be on the shy side. If you think your little one may be showing signs he is shy; you can’t change his inborn temperament. Still, you may want to help your baby learn to be a little more outgoing.

While you don’t want to push your little one too much, there are ways to encourage socialization. Consider joining a playgroup or spend time with friends who have babies. Bring your baby along when you run errands, such as shopping or going to the bank. The idea is to provide plenty of opportunities for your baby to be around other people and interact as much as possible.

Try not to force your baby into social situations he is not confrontable with to help him overcome her shyness. Be sure to give him plenty of time to warm up when he is in an unfamiliar situation or around new people. For instance, keep him close to you until he shows signs he is comfortable and wants to interact. Signs may include cooing and smiling at people, or if your little one is a bit older, he may try to get off your lap or down on the ground if you are holding him.

Some children may lose their shyness as they become older and gain more confidence. Even if your baby is always a bit bashful, it does not mean it will hold him back. He may just do things at his own pace.

 Written by MaryAnn DePietro @writerlady34

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

The Myth of “Happy”

As parents, it is only natural to want our children to grow up feeling happy and loved. And we can all put a great deal of pressure on ourselves in an attempt to force that outcome. But the truth is, no one is ever happy all of the time. And as loved as your kids may feel in your presence, they will hit bumps along the way that will cause disappointment and sadness.

That’s okay. In fact, it’s a good thing.

Plenty of parents will try to insulate their children from disappointment. They will try to manufacture happiness when life gets tough, arranging elaborate vacations, buying coveted toys, or bringing home a puppy to cheer up a sad little boy or girl. The instinct is natural—we’ve all been there—but the result isn’t ideal.

Kids who are forever protected from their own challenges and disappointments are kids who grow into adults unsure of how to face the world. You simply cannot always protect your children, particularly once they’ve reached adult age. You can’t keep them from ever feeling anything but happy.

But you can help them to grow into empowered and self-sufficient individuals who know how to deal with heartache when life smacks them around a bit.

That starts with not helicoptering. Resist the urge to swoop in and save the day every time your child seems to be approaching a precarious situation. Yes, in these early years, of course you want to protect your child from any actual harm—don’t ever let them play near a swimming pool or busy street unsupervised. But maybe don’t try to mediate a fight that breaks out with another toddler over a toy. And perhaps don’t give in to tears just because your child is whining for something you know they shouldn’t have.

Part of growing up is learning how to work well with others, and more importantly, how to deal with disappointment. Your kids won’t make every team. They won’t bring home straight A’s every time. They won’t be the star of every play or the favorite of every teacher.

And you can’t (or at least shouldn’t) manipulate the world around them so that they can be.

Let your kids fall. Let them cry. Let them feel hurt and disappointment. And then guide them in how to best navigate those feelings; how to grieve, and how to brush themselves off and start over.

Life is hard. Happiness is not a constant state of being. And you can only protect your children so much.

By allowing them to feel sadness today, you are better preparing them for dealing with it tomorrow.

Written by Leah Campbell, infertility advocate, adoptive mama, writer and editor. Find me @sifinalaska on Twitter.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general informational basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

5 Fantastic First Birthday Gift Ideas

The most important person in the world is about to turn one. Not only does this mean you have successfully survived your first year of motherhood, it also means the pressure is on when it comes to choosing the perfect gift. After all, this is the person who made you a mom. The person you grew inside your uterus for nine long months. The person you have shared one of the hardest and most incredible years of your life with. So, what do you get for the baby who has everything? Here are five awesome gift suggestions for your baby:

  1. Some wheels

She might not be old enough for her first car just yet, but you could still treat her to a set of wheels. You’ve probably already noticed that babies and toddlers love to move. Fast. The faster the better, really. And they love nothing more than trying out the latest trike, ride along or pull along toy at baby group. There are so many different designs available, so you should be able to find the perfect toy for your baby. From the bright red plastic tractor to the handmade wooden cart, you’ll be sure to find something your baby loves.

  1. Ball pool

Babies love ball pools, it’s a simple fact of life. Luckily for you, so do toddlers, so your baby will get lots of playtime out of this first birthday gift. And it’ll be a great feature at the birthday party. Ball pools come in all shapes and sizes. Choose one that will pack away neatly and be easy to set up when needed.

  1. Garden toys

Now that your baby is getting older, she’s likely to be spending more time in the garden. Once your baby has learned how to toddle, the garden provides a new space to explore. Make the garden even more appealing by investing in some garden toys. You could choose a playhouse for the bottom of the garden or perhaps a sandpit to have some fun with. Think back to when you were little, what were your favorite toys to play with outside?

  1. Rocker

Now that your baby has grown too big for her bouncy chair, she’ll need a new place to bounce. There are plenty of rockers and bounce-on toys designed for one year olds. From small wooden rocking horses to plush rocking ladybirds and bouncing zebras. There are rockers to suit every budget so shop around to find the perfect option for your baby.

  1. A train set

Your baby might be a bit young for the complexities of track design and building, but she’ll still enjoy pushing trains around the track. The great thing about a toy like this is that it will grow with your child. What might start off as a simple push along toy will soon become a great addition to her imaginative play. Train sets can be added to over time, as well, so start off with a small set and you can expand in the future if it becomes one of your child’s favorite toys.

What are you planning to get your baby for their first birthday?

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

Disciplining Without Spanking

Right now, your child is at an age where they are struggling to communicate their wants and needs, often coming up short and feeling frustrated when you don’t automatically understand what they’re trying to tell you.

That frustration can quickly morph into tantrums that will become a big part of your next few years. The terrible twos can start early, and your little one may already be hitting, kicking, biting, and screaming anytime he or she is upset.

They are lashing out because they are frustrated, but the result is that you are often left plenty frustrated as well.

Still, what exactly are you supposed to do? How do you best discipline a child who isn’t yet at an age where they fully understand what you are trying to communicate to them?

Some may argue for spanking. But doesn’t it seem a little backwards to try to address aggressive behavior with an aggressive response?

There is plenty of research to back up the fact that spanking is not the best disciplinary tactic. But what will work for a child who isn’t even one yet?

First and foremost, staying calm and separating yourself from the situation can sometimes be your greatest tool. This isn’t always possible—when a tantrum happens in the middle of a grocery aisle, you can’t just walk away. But when it takes place at home, giving some space and allowing your child to tantrum without you trying to calm them, can send the message that throwing those fits isn’t going to get the reaction they are hoping for. It can also allow you to separate yourself and calm down too, rather than engaging in a battle of wills with a frustrated child. Keep your child in sight so you can monitor the situation and ensure their safety.

Timeouts may also be a way to go, though at this age, you can’t expect your little one to just sit in a corner by themselves. Instead, choose a time out location, and sit with them. Place your child in your lap, facing away from you, and wrap your arms around him or her so that they can’t lash out and hit during the timeout. Let your child know that when they calm down, the timeout can be over.

Realistically, at this age, discipline is tough. What works for one child may not work for another, and you might have to experiment to find out what kind of consequences get through to your child the best. While doing that, though, try to remember that your little one is working through a normal stage and shouldn’t be punished too harshly for typical behavior—taking away a favorite toy for a week most likely won’t send the message you are hoping for.

Consistency, calm reactions, and compassionate discipline will often get you much further at this age than authoritarian measures. You may also find your child responds far better to positive reinforcement than negative punishments for now.

Your methods will change as the months and years go by, but at this age, it’s just about finding what works for your child, and what feels right for your home. When in doubt, don’t hesitate to talk to your pediatrician about ideas that might be a good fit for you and your little one.

Written by Leah Campbell, infertility advocate, adoptive mama, writer and editor. Find me @sifinalaska on Twitter.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general informational basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

5 Things You Need to Make it the Best First Birthday Party Ever

Your baby is turning one. This is a huge milestone for both of you. Your beautiful little baby is entering toddlerhood and you are finally able to celebrate making it through the first year of parenthood. You did it! You’ve probably changed around 2,500 diapers over the past 12 months. You’ve slept just a few hours at a time, and have lost over a month’s worth of sleep. Ok, it might not sound like much to celebrate, but you survived and so did your baby. You both deserve a party after all of that.

It doesn’t seem like two minutes since you were cradling that perfect little bundle in your arms for the first time. Yet here you are, planning the first birthday party to end all first birthday parties. After all, your baby deserves an extra special celebration for her first ever birthday. Here are five things you need to make it the best first birthday party ever:

  1. Guests

No party would be complete without a collection of friends and family members to swoon over your little girl. That doesn’t mean you have to invite every single one of your Facebook friends. In fact, too big a party could be overwhelming for your baby. A first birthday party guest list is all about quality rather than quantity. If you want to avoid an overcrowded room, you could consider splitting the celebration in two. One party for your baby’s friends, and a separate celebration another day for family members.

  1. Entertainment

You don’t need to spend hundreds of dollars on a talented magician or Elsa impersonator. Babies are pretty easily pleased. Bubbles are always a hit, so invest in a number of bubble pots and let the guests entertain the babies for you. You probably have a house full of toys, so there’s no need to buy anything new for the party. A ball pit is guaranteed to be well received by babies and toddlers alike, so get hold of one of those if you can. Beach balls, rattles and musical instruments are also great party props to have lying around.

  1. Music

A great playlist is the key to any party. Luckily for you, your baby isn’t yet old enough to demand Let it go and Old MacDonald just yet, and that means you’ll have full control over the music. There’s really no need to stick to children’s classics, you can choose whatever music you like. The babies will be just as happy listening to Beyoncé as they will to a Disney Princess compilation. One day, your baby will be old enough to take on the role of DJ, and you’ll be forced to endure hours of kid’s music, but today is not that day.

  1. Snacks

Babies love eating. If you want to throw a party the guests will enjoy, make sure you put on a spread. It doesn’t need to cost a fortune, a simple arrangement of fruit and vegetable crudites will probably be enough to satisfy most of your younger guests. Serve a selection of your baby’s favorite foods and make sure you have enough to go round. You should also make sure you have food and drinks on offer for the adults at the party. Again, you don’t need to blow through your budget, a simple snack buffet will be more than enough.

  1. Fizz

Children’s birthday parties can be ever so stressful. They’re noisy, chaotic and bags of fun. By the end of it all, you’ll be ready for a drink so make sure you have a bottle of fizz waiting for you in the fridge. Once your baby is tucked up in bed, exhausted after celebrating her first birthday, it’s time for you to celebrate. You did it! You threw an awesome birthday party for your little girl. You got through the first year unscathed, and you have raised a beautiful baby girl. If that doesn’t deserve a glass of bubbly, what does?

How are you planning to celebrate the momentous first birthday?

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.