Hiring a Babysitter You Can Trust

The first several months of motherhood often go by in a blur. You are sleep deprived, totally consumed by your little one, and struggling most days to even get a shower in. The idea of getting a sitter and going out probably didn’t cross your mind.

But now that your baby is a little older, hopefully sleeping a bit more at night, you may be feeling a little stir crazy and like you are ready for that time away. Maybe you’re hoping for a romantic date with your partner, or a baby-free meal with your friends. The only thing standing in your way is figuring out who will watch your baby.

If you’re not one of the lucky people who has family nearby you can rely on, finding that help can feel even more complicated. Do you post want ads on Craigslist? Fliers at the grocery store? Do you randomly walk up to young girls of babysitting age and ask them if they’re interested?

That thought may have crossed your mind, but then you remembered that whoever you select, it’s someone you’re going to leave alone with the most important person in your world—your baby. So you need to somehow be able to vet them so that you can fully trust in his or her ability to safely and lovingly care for your child.

And hiring a babysitter you trust can seem near impossible at times.

So why don’t you start by asking for recommendations from your friends and co-workers for babysitters they use? Hiring someone that has already been vouched for by someone you trust can help make the process a little less scary.

Another option is to ask the teachers at your child’s daycare—they may be willing to babysit for extra money, and the bonus is that your child already knows them!

If all else fails, you can always interview through sites like care.com or hellositter.com, where background checks are performed on all the caregivers available.

Regardless of which method you choose, you should still interview any potential babysitters, asking questions about CPR certifications, experience with babies, and what they would do in the case of an emergency. Consider having the potential sitter over for dinner one night before your night out as well. This way, you can see how he or she interacts with your child, and you can get a better feel for them overall.

Finding a good sitter can sometimes be difficult, but don’t get discouraged. They are out there, and once you find somebody you trust, you will truly be able to enjoy those nights out that you have definitely earned

Written by Leah Campbell, infertility advocate, adoptive mama, writer and editor. Find me @sifinalaska on Twitter.

 This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general informational basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

Help! I’m Not Ready to Leave my Baby

There is a lot of pressure on women to get on with things after the birth. You’re expected to continue having it all, even in the midst of the hormonal aftermath that is those first few postpartum weeks. Many women feel pressure to leave their baby when they aren’t quite ready.

Why the pressure exists

Quite simply, a lot of that pressure exists for selfish reasons. Grandparents may be encouraging you to have a night out so that they can enjoy an evening of babysitting. Friends may be trying to convince you to go for cocktails because they miss your company. Of course, neither of these things are crimes, but they’re also unlikely to be top of your agenda right now.

Should I leave my baby?

There is no right or wrong time to leave your baby with a sitter. Some moms are comfortable to do this early on and for others, it can take much longer until they’re ready to be parted from the baby. You should do what is right for you. This is your decision to make and nobody else’s. Nobody else can tell you how you should feel or how you should act. Being a mom is life-changing and if that means you skip a few cocktail nights, then so be it.

How can I say no?

You hate to say no, don’t you? It sounds so selfish and unhelpful, but it’s something you need to get used to saying. You’re a mama now and that means your priorities have shifted. You have less time to worry about what other people think right now and that can only be a good thing.

It might not be easy to turn down babysitting offers from keen bean grandparents, but you don’t have to accept if you’re not ready to take that step yet. You can politely explain that you’re not ready to leave your baby yet, but let them know that you’ll be calling on them for babysitting duty when you are ready in the future.

For friends who are feeling left out, all you need to do is be honest. Tell them you’re not ready yet. Your baby is still so little and you just can’t leave her just yet, but one day you will. And in the meantime, how about a cocktail night at your house instead? Or perhaps a lunchtime catch up next weekend? Be flexible and make sure your friends know that you still value them, but that you’re just not quite ready to leave your baby just yet.

When will I be ready to leave my baby?

Don’t worry, you’re not going to be following your kid to uni, unable to cut that cord. It’s very common for mothers to want to stay close to their young babies. There’s nothing wrong with it, this is simply the first stage of motherhood. As your baby grows, you will find yourself feeling more able to spend time apart. There’s no need to rush it, just wait until you feel ready. Your baby will only be this little once.

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

5 Tips for Leaving Your Baby with a Babysitter

Leaving your baby with a sitter for the first time is a monumental parenting milestone, and you’re likely to be feeling emotional as the big day approaches. All moms are different, and it can take some longer than others to feel ready to make the leap. Don’t rush yourself, wait until you feel ready for that long awaited night out. There’s no pressure, people will understand that you might want to skip a few nights out in favor of spending time with your baby.

When you are ready to take off your mama cap for the night, let your hair down and enjoy some quality adult time, the following tips might help:

  1. Pick a sitter you trust

To get the most out of your night of freedom, you need to make sure your baby is left in capable hands. If not, you’ll spend most of the evening worrying and texting the sitter. Choose somebody you can trust. Somebody who knows and loves your baby, and who your baby feels comfortable with. Choose somebody who will follow your directions to the letter, somebody who you know will take just as good care of your baby as you would. Many parents choose to enlist the help of a family member or trusted friend as their first sitter. If you book a babysitter via an agency, always make sure his or her background is officially checked, the babysitter is CPR trained and personally interviewed by the agency.

  1. Leave instructions

Remember that feeling when you were first left alone with your new baby? When you gazed lovingly into her eyes and thought, “Why didn’t this come with an instruction manual?” Well, now you have months of experience so you can be the person to write that manual. Leave clear instructions with your babysitter. Make sure they know how to reach you, where you’ll be and what time you’ll be home. Write down any feeds your baby will be due whilst you’re away, as well as things to try if your baby becomes upset.

  1. Start small

For your first night out, you may want to stay local so you can get home quickly if needed. It’s also an idea to start out with a shorter engagement that first time. You could go for a meal at your local restaurant or meet friends for a drink at a nearby bar. This short burst of freedom will give you and your baby an opportunity to get used to spending a little bit of time apart. Then when the night comes for you to attend a birthday party out of town, you’ll feel confident that your baby will be ok without you.

  1. Say goodbye

It can be tempting to just disappear, especially when your baby seems settled with the sitter. Why risk upsetting her before you dash for the door? In reality, however, your baby needs to know that you leaving is nothing to worry about. That means a goodbye kiss and a cheery goodbye. Let your baby know that you’ll be back soon. Your baby may not yet understand all the words you say, but she’ll be able to tell from your body language and tone that there’s nothing to worry about.

  1. Don’t feel guilty

No, leaving your baby doesn’t make you a terrible mother. No, your baby won’t grow up with severe emotional troubles because you went out to a party. Yes, your baby knows you love her. Don’t let yourself feel guilty about taking a night for yourself. It’s perfectly ok to carve out a little bit of time for yourself amidst the chaos of nappy changes, feeds and night wakings. This is your night of freedom, so start enjoying yourself. Have fun, enjoy the adult conversation, and enjoy feeling a little bit more like you for a change.

How old was your baby when you had your first night out?

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.