In contrast to the births shown in movies, not all women swear during labour, in fact many become very quiet. In almost a trance-like state, some women silently progress through labour, and others hum loudly during contractions. Some women let out a low groan, and others swear like drunken sailors. Whatever you do, it’s fine, just do whatever helps you to feel comfortable and in control.

Some women report using words they’d never usually dream of saying aloud, and feeling quite embarrassed about it afterwards. There’s no need to feel embarrassed about your foul mouth, you won’t have been the first labouring woman to curse in front of the midwife – and you certainly won’t be the last. You can always apologise for your language at the end, if you’re feeling mortified.

You shouldn’t worry about swearing, humming, singing or anything else you might be doing during labour. You should focus on the task at hand, and do whatever feels natural. While some women may find silence helps them to focus on breathing through the contractions, others find that jumbling together a mix of expletives helps them feel more in control of the situation. Do whatever you need, after all, people probably aren’t going to start arguing with you while you’re in the throes of labour.

It’s unlikely to be your midwife who gets the brunt of your potty mouth; it will probably mostly be hurled at the dad-to-be. Again, you can always apologise afterwards. Although, if you’re lying with your legs in stirrups as the midwives check your tender area, you probably won’t be feeling too sorry for your husband or birthing partner as they sit on their comfy chair cuddling your new baby.

Scientists at Keele University found that swearing can actually have a painkilling effect, especially for people who don’t usually swear. Swearing accelerates the heart rate, mimicking aggression and triggering the “fight or flight” response. This natural response lessens perceived pain due to physiological changes taking place in the body. So there you go – now you have an excuse for calling your husband or birthing partner all those horrible names!

For most of my labour, I stayed quiet but I did let out a little swear word when my husband tried to take away the gas and air during the second stage of labour (what was he thinking?!). So, in answer to “Will I swear during labour?” – maybe, if it feels right to you!

Did you hum, moo, groan or hurl abuse? And, most importantly, did it help?

Written by Fiona, proud owner of a toddler, @fiona_peacock

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice.  All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

Hypnobirthing is the use of hypnosis during labour. The practice aims to replace feelings of fear with confidence, and to allow women to experience labour in a positive way.

How does hypnobirthing work?

Hypnobirthing techniques can reduce your need for other forms of pain relief during labour. It can also help you to feel calm and positive during labour, rather than feeling scared or in pain. When you feel scared, your body initiates the fight or flight response. During this response, stress hormones, including adrenaline, flood your body. This reduces blood flow to the uterus, which can slow labour. The stress hormones can alter the amount of oxytocin released by your body. Oxytocin and other feel good hormones are released during labour and play a vital role in natural pain relief; without this, you may find labour to be more painful.

Where can I learn more about hypnobirthing?

There are a number of different ways to learn the basics of hypnobirthing:

• One on one – you can have individual sessions with a hypnobirthing practitioner, and they will teach you how to use the techniques and tools to ease yourself into a calm state of mind.
• Group sessions – you can attend classes to learn these techniques whilst also meeting other expectant parents. The classes are usually quite intimate, with only a small number of couples attending each one. Be sure to take your birth partner with you so that they can learn how to help you use hypnobirthing on the big day.
• Learn at home – the most affordable option is to use hypnobirthing CDs. The CDs help you to get into the correct state for labour. You should listen to them during pregnancy to help yourself get used to hypnobirthing, and then use them once your labor begins. You can also try an App.

You should get your birth partner involved in hypnobirthing from an early stage. Your birth partner should learn the breathing, relaxation and visualization techniques to be able to guide you during labour. You should practice your hypnobirthing techniques together at home as often as you can before the birth. You should aim to know the techniques so well that they become second nature to you during labour.

When should I start hypnobirthing?

The ideal time to attend classes or start listening to your CD, is between 25 and 29 weeks. By this time you will feel focused on the impending birth, and yet will have enough time left to learn the techniques. However, you can start at anytime, so do not feel that at 34 weeks it is too late for you start. The relaxation techniques will be useful during labour, no matter when you start to learn them.

During labour

Once labour starts, use the hypnobirthing relaxation techniques to stay calm. Listen to your hypnobirthing CD, and ask your birth partner to read through the visualization scripts and help you with the breathing techniques during surges.

Are you planning to use hypnobirthing, or have you used it before? Please share your experiences in the comments below.

Written by Fiona, proud owner of a toddler, @fiona_peacock

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

The nesting instinct is experienced by mammals and birds alike. Cats select a private place to give birth, and spend some time collecting rags and other materials to create a soft bed. While you may not be building a pile of old towels in the cupboard under the stairs, you may also be nesting. In humans, the nesting instinct is described as an urge to get things ready for the baby. This could feel like an uncontrollable urge to sort things out. From cleaning behind the bookcase, to de-cluttering the loft, the nesting instinct can take many forms.

It can start as early as the second trimester, although most women will experience it only a matter of weeks before the birth. You may also find that the nesting instinct leaves you feeling a desire to stay close to home.

Does it mean I’m about to go into labour?

During those last few weeks of pregnancy, you may find yourself on your hands and knees scrubbing the utility room floor, or alphabetising all the books in the nursery. However, this doesn’t mean labour is imminent. Some people believe that nesting during the last few weeks is a sign labour is near. Some women do report experiencing the nesting instinct in the last few days of pregnancy.

Follow your instincts, and get all the last minute jobs out of the way. Once it’s all finished, you’ll be able to feel calm and relaxed while you wait for the baby.

It’s also worth bearing in mind, once the baby arrives you may struggle to find the time to order all your photographs by year. Make the most of the time and energy you have during nesting, and get things ready for when baby arrives.

Be sensible

You may be feeling an uncontrollable urge to dust the top of the bookcase, but if it means balancing on top of a wheeled chair, it’s probably best not to. Ask your partner, or friends and family, to help with any jobs that are unsuitable for pregnant women. Climbing, balancing and lugging around heavy objects are all jobs you should avoid.

You should also be careful to avoid strong chemical smells such as oven cleaner or oil based paints. Be sure to take precautions when using cleaning fluids, and leave windows open to allow air to circulate.

If you haven’t felt any urges to clean your house, don’t worry. Not all women experience the nesting instinct.

Do you enjoy this App? Want to prepare for your baby’s arrival? You can now also download our new Baby App for iPhone / iPad or Android. Click Baby+ iOS or Baby+ Android to install the App.

Written by Fiona, proud owner of a toddler, @fiona_peacock

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

You may have noticed that since becoming pregnant, your personal life has become public property. Your mother-in-law, work colleagues and strangers at bus stops are now only too happy to give you (unsolicited) advice.

Many women complain that the worst part of this (yes, even worse than strangers grabbing at your bump), is the childbirth stories – especially horror stories. Where the sight of a pregnant woman should cause people to refrain from sharing horror stories, in fact it seems to have the opposite effect. People seem to go out of their way to casually drop into conversations the terrible birth experience of their friend.

Why do people like telling not-so-helpful childbirth stories?

You shouldn’t assume the entire world is out to get you. The people telling you the stories probably aren’t giving much thought to your feelings – they’re just excited to tell that reaction-invoking story again. Some may even think they’re doing you a favour by preparing you for what could happen.

Ignorance is bliss

Some people like to know all the facts, and know every possible outcome, before an event so that they feel prepared. Pregnant women that fit into this category probably do like to know about interventions and complications, so they can feel prepared for any eventuality. It’s important to remember, however, that not all pregnant women will feel that way. For some, hearing about traumatic births can make them feel terrified and unprepared for labour.

The science

Feeling scared during labour, can actually increase your risk of interventions. Grantly Dick-Read, an experienced midwife, attended to labouring women all over the world, and found that the women who suffered most during labour were those who feared it.

The science behind this is that when we’re scared, our bodies initiate the fight or flight response. During labour, this can mean blood is directed away from the uterus (where it is needed) and to the legs for running away. This redirection means the uterus is not able to contract as strongly, thus leading to a longer (and potentially more painful) labour.

There is a lot of emphasis on relaxation during labour. Hypnobirthing, water births and breathing exercises are all used as a way to keep women calm during labour. These relaxation techniques can lower your risk of medical intervention, so it’s important to stay relaxed and free from fear during labour.

How to stop the negative childbirth stories

If you can tell someone is about to launch into another horror story, stop them. Explain politely that, while you understand births can sometimes be traumatic, you would rather not hear about it. Explain that you want to approach the birth feeling positive, and that you don’t want any horror stories keeping you awake at night.

Alternatively, share this blog post with your friends and family – they’ll soon get the picture!

Written by Fiona, proud owner of a toddler, @fiona_peacock

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

Only around three percent of women hire a doula to act as a professional labour supporter. Although relatively uncommon, you have probably heard the term doula quite a lot during your pregnancy. You may be wondering, what does a doula do?

A doula is a trained professional who offers emotional and physical support to a woman (or to a couple) during labour. A doula aims to improve the birthing experience of the mother by ensuring that her needs are met and she feels supported throughout the birth.

What does a doula do?

A doula will answer all of your questions about the impending birth, and help you to put together a birth plan. Her aim is to ease your concerns and help you to feel confident about the birth. The doula will help you to prepare yourself for labour and becoming a mother.

During labour, a doula will help in anyway she can. She may suggest birthing positions, talk you through contractions and massage you to relieve discomfort. She is there to support both you and your partner.

Advantages of a doula

• A friendly face – you may not know the doctor or midwife working the night you give birth, and you can never be too sure how your birth partner is going to handle the event. By hiring a doula, you know you will have a friendly face on hand to help guide you through the labour process.
• The birth plan – it’s important to remember you’ll be focused on the birth, and won’t be aware of the details on the day. If the healthcare provider are pushing for potentially unnecessary interventions, a doula may find it easier to advocate for you than your birth partner would.
• Continuous support – your doula will stay with you throughout your labour and birth. Many hospitals are unable to offer this level of continuous support due to high demand and staff shortages.
• Reduced risk of interventions – studies have found that doula assisted births have 50 percent less chance of caesarean section, 40 percent less risk of a forceps delivery and 60 percent reduction in the use of epidural pain medication.

Disadvantages of a doula

• Cost – doulas vary in price, but you should expect to pay anything from several hundred to several thousand dollars for your care. This cost is usually not covered by health insurance. Some doulas charge on a “sliding scale,” taking your income into account.

How do I choose a doula?

• Some hospitals have trained doulas on staff, so check whether your local hospital is one of them.
• You could also try contacting Doulas of North America (DONA) to find out about the doulas in your local area.
• Your healthcare provider may be able to refer you to a local doula.

Once you have a list of local doulas, you should set up interviews to meet each one available around your due date. Find out about their training, qualifications, experience, and references. It’s important you find the doula who is the right fit for your family.

Written by Fiona, proud owner of a toddler, @fiona_peacock

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

False labor is something that happens towards the end of a pregnancy, often within days of the due date. It’s different than Braxton Hicks contractions, and is often initially mistaken for the beginning of labor. One in five first time mums will experience false labor, and it is even more common in second time mums.

How can I tell if it’s false labor?
There are a number of differences between the contractions of false labor, and those of real labor:

• False labor contractions vary in time – they do not become increasingly longer like the contractions of real labor
• False labor contractions will ease if you change position
• False labor contractions will ease if you walk around
• False labor contractions may be felt in the abdomen – active labor pains tend to be more focused in the lower back
• False labor contractions are irregular – real labor contractions happen at regular intervals

False labor often seems to occur at night. If you start experiencing contractions at night, get up and walk around. If the contractions ease off, it’s false labor. You could also try relaxing in a warm bath to ease contractions.

Does false labor do anything?

False labor is a sign that your body is starting to prepare for the birth. Your uterine muscles are practising their contractions for the main event. False labor is what happens before the first stage of labor. Before it can start dilating, your cervix must soften, shorten and shift position. False labor is believed to be part of this process.

Do not feel disheartened if what you thought was real labor turns out to be false labor. False labor is a sign that your body is preparing for labor, so you know that the birth of your baby will be soon. Get some rest, finish those last minute jobs, and enjoy your final few days before you become a mum.

When to call your healthcare provider

• If the contractions are becoming stronger, longer and occurring at regular intervals, you should contact your healthcare provider.
• If your waters have broken, or you have experienced a “show”, you should contact your healthcare provider.
• If you are feeling worried that you may be in labor, contact your healthcare provider. Don’t feel embarrassed about contacting them unnecessarily, they will want to support you through the pregnancy – and this includes the panic that ensues during a bout of false labor contractions!

Written by Fiona, proud owner of a toddler, @fiona_peacock

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

As you near the end of your pregnancy, you should have your hospital bag packed and ready to go. You may find it useful to keep it by the front door, or in the boot of your car so it’s with you at all times. Even if you’re aiming to have a homebirth, you should pack a hospital bag just in case. In fact, you should have two hospital bags – one for you, and one for the baby. Your birth partner should have a hospital bag too, but we’ve covered that here.

As your nesting instinct kicks in, you may find yourself unpacking and repacking this bag time and time again – just to be sure it’s perfect. It’s important to talk your birth partner through the contents of your hospital bag, and how it’s packed. After all, it’ll be them desperately scrabbling around to find your iPod while you’re in the throes of labour.

Ideally, you should travel light to the hospital. The following list includes useful items that you may want to include in your hospital bag:

• Your birth outfit – don’t worry, it doesn’t need to be stylish, fashionable or flattering. It really just needs to be comfortable and practical. Many women choose an old nightie or t-shirt to wear. If you’re planning to labour in a pool, you might like to pack a bikini top. Your hospital may want you to wear a standard issue gown, so you may want to ask your provider about this beforehand.
• Clothes to go home in – you’ll need a comfortable outfit to travel home in. Remember, you won’t shrink straight back down to your pre-pregnancy self, in fact you’ll still have a bump for the first few days.
• Pyjamas or nightie for after the birth. Or comfortable loungewear for your hospital stay.
• Sanitary towels or maternity pads – you’ll need around 24 of these.
• A few pairs of old, cheap or paper knickers (underwear).
• Toiletries – shower gel, shampoo, a hair brush, toothbrush, and anything else you think you’ll need.
• Your hospital notes and birth plan.
• Phone charger
• Snacks – you may find yourself peckish for snacks during labour, so make sure you have some just in case. Small easily digestible foods like rice cakes, jelly sweets and energy drinks may come in useful. Cereal bars, chocolate and crisps may come in useful after the birth, too.
• Labour props – birthing balls, massage oils and your MP3 player. Anything you want to have at hand during labour.
• More labour props – a water spray or flannel to keep you cool.
• Lip balm – dry lips is a common complaint during labour, so keep some lip balm to hand.
• Socks – cold feet is another labour complaint so make sure you’ve packed plenty of warm socks.
• Towels – some hospitals provide towels so find out in advance whether you need to pack your own.
• Nursing bra and breast pads
• Slippers
• Pillow – hospitals only have so many pillows so you might benefit from taking your own pillow to get comfy in hospital. You might like to take a breastfeeding pillow to help with the early breastfeeds.
• Nipple cream – if you’re planning to breastfeed, you should buy some nipple cream for the first few days.
• Camera – you will want to take hundreds of photos of your perfect new baby, so make sure you have a camera and the charger.
• Going home outfit for baby – pack a weather appropriate outfit to take baby home in.
• Bodysuits and babygrows – five of each.
• Nappies (diapers), wipes and nappy bags.
• Baby blanket.

This list covers everything you should need for your hospital stay, but there might be extra bits you want to take. Is there anything you think we’ve missed off the list, or you can’t see in the App? Please share your tips in the comments.

Written by Fiona, proud owner of a toddler, @fiona_peacock

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

Birth is a mystery – mainly because we rarely get to be a part of it. Throughout history, women shared birth by supporting each other through it. Young girls were exposed to birth – it was just another part of life. They knew what to expect and had seen how to cope. When their own labor started, they had at least some notion of what to do. Today, though, we rarely get to see birth. When we do, it’s a sanitized Hollywood version or a caricature of reality with grossly stereotyped actors and actions.

Storytelling has traditionally been the way that knowledge is passed on. And modern researchers suggest it’s because stories help our brains make sense of abstract thoughts and events. Stories help our brain make connections between reality and thought. Stories make us human.

Sharing your own birth story is a way you can help other women prepare for the births of their babies. Your experience will not only aid others in knowing the unknown, but will help you, as well. When you write about your birth experience, you preserve those special memories, you help your children understand where their own story started, and you may even be able to heal yourself if your birth was less than you expected.

Writing your tale doesn’t need to be complicated. You can choose to write longhand in a special journal, or type it all out at a keyboard. You might even use a voice recorder or dictation software if writing isn’t for you.

Start with the physical facts. Jot down everything you can remember. Ask your partner or any other support people who were present if they can remember details you may have forgotten.

Don’t judge your experience. Add emotions – consider how you felt at different times from the first contraction to the weeks following the birth. There’s no right or wrong – only what you know to be true.

Go back after a few days and edit. Add more details as they come to you. This is the opportunity to take your memories and smooth them out into a cohesive story.

Finally, share your story. You might decide to save it for your child’s eyes only. You might share it with family and friends. Or you might share it with a much wider audience by choosing an online resource publishing women’s birth stories.

Every woman has a story to tell – and her story is important to the preservation of women’s ways of knowing. The value of this knowledge connects one generation to the next through the tales we tell our daughters, nieces, friends, family, women we might not even know.

Written by Michelle, childbirth instructor, lactation consultant, and mother to 4 busy kids

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.