The loss of a child is an experience you may never truly recover from. It is likely that you will carry with you part of that grief for the rest of your life, although your emotions will become more manageable over time. Though you may be excited when you discover you are pregnant again, you may feel more worried than excited, at least for a little while.
It is important to remember that experiencing a miscarriage in the past, does not increase your chances of suffering another miscarriage. Many women who experience miscarriages go on to have problem-free healthy pregnancies.
You may find yourself feeling worried and anxious about the pregnancy, and may lose sleep over concern for your pregnancy. Anxiety is common during pregnancies after loss, and you may find that time seems to pass very slowly throughout this pregnancy. You may find that you feel less anxious once your pregnancy has progressed past the timing of your previous miscarriage. Some women find that hearing their baby’s heartbeat for the first time, or seeing their baby on an ultrasound scan, reduces the feelings of anxiety.
How to cope with the worry
Your experience is unique to you, and you will need to find your own path to ease your worry. You may find the following tips useful, however, as ways of reducing or coping with your anxieties over the pregnancy:
- take care of yourself – do all that you can to ensure you are having a healthy pregnancy. Eat a healthy, balanced diet, drink plenty of water, and take regular exercise. Rest when you feel tired, and make sure you are trusting your instincts and listening to what your body tells you.
- relax – take some time out at the end of each day to clear your mind. Meditation, yoga, or even just a long soak in the bath, could be all you need to help yourself relax at the end of the day. Clear your mind of negative thoughts and worries, and instead spend some time thinking positively, focusing on the fact that you are pregnant right now, and making sure you feel calm.
- be honest – a problem shared is a problem halved. Talk to your partner about how you feel, he may be able to reassure or comfort you during times of worry. Speak to your mum, best friend, or an online support group of strangers – whoever you feel comfortable opening up to.
- talk to your healthcare provider – your healthcare provider is there to support you during pregnancy, as well as during the birth. Be honest about how you are feeling, and any worries you may have. Your healthcare provider may be able to offer advice to calm your nerves, practical help in the form of extra check ups, or support simply by listening to you.
Announcing the news
Some couples choose to wait before announcing the pregnancy for fear of another loss. For others, however, the support of friends and family is a must, and so the news is shared earlier. Whether you wait until after the scan, or tell people straight away, is a personal decision that only you and your partner can make.
Written by Fiona, proud owner of a toddler, @fiona_peacock
This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.