You often hear about couples who are having problems, and then find out that they are suddenly pregnant. ‘Wow,’ you think – they sure settled their problems quickly. Or did they? Recently, the Wendy Williams Show did an episode interviewing women who admitted that they had ‘tricked’ their significant others, hoping that having a baby together would solidify and improve their relationship. Most of the women on the panel agreed that the baby did not help the relationship, and in actuality, made things much, much harder.
So will pregnancy help your marriage?
This is not something that women talk about openly. If you want a baby and your spouse doesn’t, or you are having relationship issues and feel that a baby might stick you and your partner together like Velcro, you aren’t apt to tell your friends your plans. But, we all know it happens.
The reality is that having a baby does bind two people together for the rest of their lives. But if the relationship is rocky, unhappy, or unhealthy going in – the baby is not going to act as a fix-all. In fact it may only complicate issues.
Consider just how expensive, and how time consuming having a baby is. Then multiply that times 10. Your entire life will likely change in many ways. The added responsibilities and pressures of raising children can often become a point of discontent among happy parents. Having a baby, and raising a child with someone certainly exposes many things about the other person that you may have never known otherwise. And it can take a lot to work through the new parenting woes, to find a happy medium and to agree on what is best for the baby.
Suffice it to say that a baby will not make your relationship easier. And, if you and your partner are already encountering some serious issues, tying yourself to this person on purpose, for the remainder of your life, can set you up for a life long battle of the wills and wits.
Plus, having a baby – in a perfect world – should be a mutual decision. It isn’t fair for a man or for a woman to ‘trick’ their partner into having a baby – or purposely make a ‘mistake’ during sex in the hopes that a pregnancy will result. This can set up deep resentment that will not just hurt you, your partner, your relationship – but ultimately, your child to be, too.
Written By Stef, Mom of 4 @Momspirational
This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.