With all the changes going on, both physically and mentally, it’s little wonder your relationship is feeling a little neglected. As you prepare to welcome your child into the world, and adjust to seeing your partner as a parent, you may find that the romance is suffering. So, how can you nurture your relationship during pregnancy?

1. Invest in some baby-free days – it can sometimes feel that every spare hour is spent preparing for the baby. When you’re not at your desk or asleep (or asleep at your desk if it’s the first trimester), you’re writing baby lists, shopping for baby items or reading about parenting. It’s official, the baby has taken over your life. Now is the time to claw back a bit of personal time, so that you can make the most of your partner before the baby is born (and really does take over your life). Set aside some baby-free days where everything baby-related is out of bounds. No prenatal classes, no worrying, and no internet research. Think back to your pre-pregnancy days, and spend some time doing the things you used to do as a couple. If your schedules and to-do list allow it, try to have a baby-free day every few weeks for the duration of the pregnancy.

2. Spend time as a couple preparing for the baby – this is the polar opposite of the above point, but both are equally important. Some dads-to-be feel left out during pregnancy, and feel they are not as involved as they would like to be. Get your partner involved in the decision-making process – let him coo over tiny baby outfits with you, choose colours for the nursery, and chat about what life will be like once the baby arrives. Prenatal classes are a great way to get him involved in the pregnancy, and will help to prepare him for the birth as well as life as a new parent. You don’t need to spend all of your time together discussing the baby, but make sure you involve him in decisions and discussions. The overwhelming majority of men want to be part of this process, and some end up feeling pushed out when they aren’t.

3. Go dating – no, not dating other people to check you made the right decision – go on a date with your partner. No doubt you have been told this so many times you’re sick of hearing it, but it’s true. You really should make the most of the time you have before the baby arrives. The first few months of parenting are amazing, but also exhausting. It’s easy for weeks to slip by without you really noticing the missed time together. So, while you are waiting for the baby to arrive, try to have regular date nights. Go for meals, go to the cinema, and go for day trips – do all the things that may become more difficult once you’re a family of three.

4. Go away for a weekend – if you’re currently saving up to buy all your big baby items, a weekend away is probably the last thing on your mind. Remember though, it will be at least a little trickier to get away once the baby arrives. So if you can, try to have a mini break during your pregnancy. Whether you opt for two weeks away, a mini break, or simply a weekend together with no distractions, try to spend a block of quality time together before the baby arrives.

5. Get intimate – all pregnancies are different. While some women may find themselves constantly distracted by arousal, others may be completely put off the idea of sex altogether. If you don’t want to have sex, there are other ways you can enjoy intimacy during pregnancy. From affectionate massages (particularly good if you’re suffering from aches and pains), to relaxing baths together, make sure you are spending time with your partner. If you don’t want to have sex, be honest with your partner about this. If you do want to have sex, you may have to experiment with positions until you find one that is comfortable.

How are you nurturing your relationship during pregnancy?

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2018. All rights reserved.

For some women, the extra hormones raging through their body leads to an increased sex drive during pregnancy. For others, the back ache, swollen ankles and fatigue are enough to put them right off the thought of sex. If you don’t feel like having sex, that’s fine. Talk to your partner about how you feel.

If you would like to have sex, you may find it gets a little trickier in the third trimester. As your bump grows and your breasts become increasingly tender, you may need to experiment with sex positions for pregnancy to find one that feels comfortable.

Here are some tried and tested sex positions for late pregnancy:

1. Spoons in a drawer – lie on your side with your knees pulled up near your bump. Your partner should spoon you and enter you from behind. This position will prevent your partner from going in too deep so may be more comfortable for you. With your bump resting on the bed, you will be under less strain, too.
2. From behind – get down on your hands and knees (this position is sometimes referred to as ‘doggy style’). Your partner should enter you from behind.
3. On top – your partner should lie down, and you should lower yourself onto him. The good thing about this position is that you are able to control the depth of penetration. Simply rock gently in this position.
4. Reverse cowgirl – like the above, but you should sit facing your partner’s feet instead of his face.
5. Take a seat – your partner should sit on a sturdy chair. You should then lower yourself onto him. This position allows you to control the depth of penetration, and also allows for plenty of kissing.
6. Face to face – lie facing your partner, and lean your top leg over your partner’s side. This position will restrict deep penetration, and the weight of your bump will be supported on the bed.
7. The edge – sit at the edge of the bed, and pull your feet up onto the edge of the mattress. Lie yourself back, ideally on a pillow to keep you tilted upright (and avoid lying flat on your back). Your partner should stand or kneel in front of you.

It may take a few attempts to find the position that works best for you. As your body changes, and your centre of balance moves, you may need to keep adjusting the sexual positions in favour.

Later in the pregnancy, it is normal for orgasms to trigger Braxton Hicks contractions. It’s nothing to worry about if you experience these irregular contractions.

If you experience cramping that doesn’t disappear after a few minutes, or if you experience pain or bleeding during or after sex, you should contact your healthcare provider.

Written by Fiona, proud owner of a toddler, @fiona_peacock

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice.  All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

Sex after birth is different for everyone. Whilst some women may be having sex again within weeks of the birth, for others, it can take a lot longer to feel ready for sexual intimacy again. If you haven’t had sex since the birth, it’s likely to be an issue on your mind. You may be worried that your partner is getting frustrated or that he’s simply not attracted to you now that you’re a mom. Or perhaps you’re worried that sex will hurt and are happy to put it off a while longer. However you’re feeling, here are five things to remember if you haven’t had sex since the birth:

1. You’re not alone

Don’t worry, you haven’t broken the world record for longest time without sex. There are plenty of other couples going through exactly what you’re going through right now. If your mom friends are all sharing the details on their bedroom passions, you can be forgiven for feeling like the only person in the world who’s not doing it every night. But you’re not, there are other couples who understand what you’re going through because they’re in the same place.

2. Everyone is different

Just because your best friend was having sex (and loving it) within weeks of the birth, it doesn’t mean you need to force yourself to get physical. You will know when you’re ready and until then, there’s nothing wrong with waiting a little longer if that’s what you want to do. Don’t compare yourself to your friends, you’re all individuals with unique circumstances.

3. You’ve been through a lot

Even the loveliest most natural births put a strain on the woman’s body. After nine months of stretching and changing, your body may not even feel like your own some days. On top of that, birth may have caused physical injury to your body, leaving you feeling worried about potential discomfort during sex. All of that alone is enough of a reason why you may not be feeling in the mood right now. Add to that the fact you haven’t had a decent night’s sleep for almost a year and it’s no wonder you have no energy left by bedtime. Many new moms feel touched out by the end of the day, after a day of cuddling, breastfeeding and general clinginess, the last thing you want at night is to be touched. This is totally understandable and will pass with time.

4. Communication is key

Communication is the most important aspect of any relationship. If you’re worried about how long it’s been since you had sex, air these views to your partner. Explain why you haven’t felt like it and see what he has to say about it all. It’s unlikely he hasn’t noticed how long it’s been. Talking openly about it could clear the air and leave you both feeling much better. You can reassure your partner that you still find him attractive and love him, but you just don’t feel up for sex right now.

5. It doesn’t have to be sexual

Intimacy doesn’t have to be sexual. If the idea of sex is a turn off right now, why not try making the effort to be intimate with your partner instead? Hold his hand when you walk to the park, give him a kiss before he heads off for work and snuggle up on the sofa together at the end of the day. You don’t have to have sex to be loving, you can let your partner know exactly what he means to you without sex.

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.