Play dates are an important part of motherhood. Play dates allow you to form closer bonds with other mamas, whilst also allowing your baby to become friends with the other babies. Play dates are less chaotic than your average baby group, making them the ideal way to socialize when you’re struggling due to lack of sleep. Some play dates are better than others. Here are the five key ingredients of the perfect play date:

1. Understanding

Motherhood is tough, and the people who understand that are the ones worth spending time with. Whether you’ve been up all night thanks to teething, are onto your third outfit today thanks to some projectile vomiting or are feeling fed up of cluster feeds, you want play date buddies who care. Not ones who’ll offer unsolicited advice or judge your parenting choices. No, you need to surround yourself with women who understand. Compassionate women who support your choices and are always there when you need them.

2. Relaxation

Baby groups are not relaxing. You’ll spend the whole time worrying that one of the feral toddlers is about to stamp on your baby. Soft play centres are not relaxing. It’s only a matter of time until a manic three year old pushes past your crawler at the top of the slide. Play dates, however, can be relaxing. Held at home with just a couple of like-minded friends, the play date can be pretty zen. You don’t need to watch your babies quite so carefully or worry about older children causing havoc. Instead, you can sit back on a comfy sofa, enjoy a warm drink and chat until you’ve got nothing left to say. By the time you leave, you should feel like you’ve spent a weekend at a spa.

3. A safe space

The play date should be a safe space. Nothing said of a personal nature should ever leave those four walls. The play date is your safe space for you to admit that you almost listed your baby on eBay at 3am or that you sometimes put her diaper on backwards. It’s ok for you to say these things because your play date buddies are saying them too. This is a judgement-free zone.

4. Laughter

The most important rule when it comes to play date club is if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. Parenting is hard. It’s exhausting, relentless and consists of about 80% vomit. It’s not pretty. The trials and tribulations of motherhood can be approached in one two ways. You can either cry constantly because you’re exhausted, fed up of changing diapers and haven’t showered in weeks. Or you can laugh because you accidentally flashed the postman, got peed on in public and are so tired you forgot your husband’s name. Laughing will make it easier, so laugh.

5. Healthy Snack

A snack, because they make everything better. Always take snacks with you to a play date. It’s the play date equivalent of a bottle of red. You’re sure to be invited again next turn if you’re the one who turns up with a selection of healthy snacks.

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

Isn’t being a new mom great? The sweet baby coos. The cuddles. The feeling of total fulfillment you get in being your baby’s favorite person in the world.

Then again, there’s also the lack of sleep. And the whole smelling like baby vomit thing. Plus… you can’t remember the last time you talked to another adult who wasn’t your partner.

Yes, being a new mom is great. But it is also an intensely transitory state of being, where everything about your life is changing. Some women are lucky enough to go through that transition with a solid group of mom friends already by their side; women who are in the same life stage and can serve as a beacon of support. But for a lot of women, this transition also means feeling fairly alone in what you are going through, not having that support system to lean back on.

If that describes you and your situation, what you need is a few new mom friends! And here’s where you can make them:

1. Mommy and Me Classes: Starting at about 6 weeks old, there are all kinds of classes you can begin taking your little one to. From basic Mommy and Me, to swimming, gymnastics, music and more—a quick search online should tell you exactly what is available in your area. These classes can be great for you and your baby, but perhaps more importantly, they can serve as a fantastic opportunity to meet other moms with babies around the same age as your own. Remember to smile and make small talk your first few classes, as you search for a fellow mom (or moms) you feel a connection with. Then, suggest a play date!
2. At the Park: Or the grocery store. Or the pediatrician’s office. Really, anywhere that new moms might congregate is a great place to keep an eye out for new friends. Be warm and genuine in your approach, and you may find that you aren’t the only one looking for some new moms to connect with. This can be a lonely time, after all; so be brave. Making a new friend is worth taking the risk of saying, “Hello” and striking up a conversation. Hint: “How old is he/she?” is a great place to start!
3. Online Mommy Boards: Sure, it would be great if you could make some mommy friends right next door. But depending on where you live, that may not be an option; it doesn’t mean you have to remain lonely, though. The Internet has opened us up to a whole new way of connecting, and between Facebook and dedicated mommy boards, there are tens of thousands of potential mommy friends around the world, just waiting to connect and find someone to navigate alongside in this new world of motherhood.
   

Written by Leah Campbell, infertility advocate, adoptive mama, writer and editor. Find me @sifinalaska on Twitter.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general informational basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.