Most parents worry about whether they will bond with their baby, but this is especially true for parents expecting twins or more. It’s understandable to be a little freaked out by the news that you are expecting two or more babies, and bonding may be just one of your worries at the moment. Here are some tips to help prepare you for the process of bonding with twins or more:

1. Be prepared – life as a new mum is tough, and all new parents should prepare for sleepless nights. As a mum of twins, you may find yourself severely lacking in time. Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do about this. New babies are needy, and you’ll have two of them. Fill your freezer with food, stock up the pantry, and make sure you have enough essentials to last a few weeks.

2. Look after yourself – you need to take care of yourself as well as your babies. If you’re exhausted, emotional, hormonal and lacking in confidence, you may end up doubting your mothering abilities. If you feel like you need some time to yourself, ask your partner or a friend to watch the babies. Run a bath, lock the bathroom door and settle down for some good quality relaxation time. You’ll emerge refreshed and better able to care for both of your babies.

3. Have help on standby – you have no doubt been inundated with offers from potential babysitters, so make sure you cash them in. Ask a trusted friend or family member to take one of the babies for a walk, so that you can grab some quality bonding time with the other baby. Alternate babies each time, and make sure they each get a fair share of your time.

4. Hibernate – new mums are so busy showing off their babies, they sometimes forget to take the time to bond. Spend some time locked away as a family, getting to know each other and adjusting to your new role. Cuddle both your babies, and chat to them as you make eye contact.

5. Strip off – skin to skin is a great way to bond with your babies. Have your babies in just their nappies, and lie them on your bare chest.

6. Tandem carries – babywearing isn’t just for singleton parents, you can carry your twins, too. There are lots of different options available – woven and stretchy wraps are popular choices – so try a few carriers out before you buy. If there’s a sling library near you, ask for a consultation to help you find a carrier you love and to learn how to put two babies in two slings!

7. Make the most of it – it might be a nappy change or a feed, but make the most of the time together. Instead of rushing your way through one dirty nappy to get to the other, spend some time singing to and chatting with your baby. Make sure each baby gets special attention from you during these everyday tasks.

8. Give it time – bonding with a baby takes time, and you have twice the babies or half the time, so don’t worry if bonding takes longer than you expected. The first few weeks might be spent rushing from one baby to another, making sure they’re both ok, but sooner or later you will have more time for bonding.

9. Let the guilt go – it’s not uncommon for twin parents to report feeling guilty for not spending enough time with each baby. Let this guilt go. Don’t compare yourself to your singelton parent friends. Parenting twins is a totally different ballgame.

Written by Fiona, proud owner of a toddler, @fiona_peacock

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2018. All rights reserved.

Twins. Two babies. Two babies! You probably went into a blind panic when you first discovered you were having twins, but hopefully, things are a little calmer now that they’re actually here. Caring for twins is exhausting, that’s for sure. You don’t often get the luxury of napping while your baby naps because your babies seem to nap at different times. There’s always somebody waiting to be fed, changed or cuddled. It’s not easy, but it is rewarding. Two babies means twice the love, twice the cuddles and twice the giggles. There are few things more rewarding than watching your twins develop a strong bond that will last them a lifetime. It will get easier, but for now, caring for twins is going to be tough at times. Here are five helpful tips to help you cope with twins:

1. Lower your expectations

This is something all mamas need to do. Life isn’t the same now you’re a mom. You won’t have an immaculate house, a perfectly tweezed brow and your finger on the pulse of popular culture when you’re looking after newborns. It’s just not possible. You can choose to spend the next few months miserable because you’re not superwoman or simply lower your expectations and accept that you’re taking a few months off from life as a high-achieving woman. Slow down, enjoy the moment and forget about the list of things you think you should be doing.

2. Don’t compare

The absolute worst thing you can do is compare yourself to other parents – especially singleton parents. Each and every mom has her own unique set of challenges, so you simply can’t compare yourself. You’re all individuals facing different circumstances. Just because that mom from baby group managed to shower and do her make up this morning, it doesn’t mean you should have. Remember, you are your own worst enemy. Try to be positive about your own achievements instead of wishing you were other moms.

3. Reach out to twin moms

The only other people who really understand what you’re going through are the people who are right there with you. Twin parents are the only people who really know what it’s like to have to leave your baby to cry because you’re busy caring for the other one. They’re the parents who really understand sleep deprivation because they’re experiencing two sleep regressions at once. And they’re the people who can share tips and tricks that might just change your life. There might be a twin support group in your local area, offering parents the chance to meet up regularly. If not, you could consider starting your own. If you don’t feel up to that, you could look for online twin parenting communities to join.

4. Accept all the help

You don’t need to do this all by yourself. Two babies is a lot of babies and accepting help is not a sign of failure. In fact, it’s a good sign that you’re being realistic and trying to take care of yourself as well. You will no doubt have plenty of offers of help from friends and family members desperate for a cuddle with the new babies. Say yes, accept their help with hoovering, food shopping and baby cuddles so that you can tick these jobs off your list. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. If it takes a village to raise a child, imagine how many people it takes to raise two!

5. Don’t forget about yourself

You’re rudely awoken by the cries of one twin early in the morning. After a change, feed and cuddle, that twin falls soundly back to sleep only for the other to wake up. You spend your day desperately trying to meet the needs of two beautiful babies and that is exhausting. You’re sleep deprived, rarely find the time to drink a hot drink and can’t remember the last time you had a bath. It’s hard, but it won’t last forever. Soon you’ll have time to yourself again, but until then, you need to snatch time as and when you need it. After a particularly hard day, leave the babies with your partner so you can enjoy a bath in peace. Go out for a run or simply meet a friend for coffee. Spend a little bit of time doing something that makes you feel a little more like you. You deserve it and you’ve certainly earned it.

What are your top tips for coping with twins?

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.