Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy. You may be feeling excited, terrified or in shock – or perhaps even a mixture of all three. As you try to process this life-changing news, you may feel desperate to share it with friends and family, but should you hold off until after week 12? There are mixed opinions on this, and while many choose to wait, some couples tell friends and family straight away.

Why wait?

Some women choose to keep their pregnancies quiet until after the first twelve weeks. The risk of miscarriage is highest during the first trimester, and some people choose to hold off on sharing the news until this risk has passed. Some couples choose to wait until they have had the ultrasound scan. This gives them peace of mind that the baby is developing ok, and also allows them to give friends and family a more accurate estimated due date.

There’s a lot to think about when you discover you’re pregnant, and even if the baby was long-awaited, it can take a few weeks to get your head around the news. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you may find it easier to keep the news to yourself until you have processed all of your emotions.

Why spill the beans

Some women find it virtually impossible to keep quiet about the pregnancy. Whether you’re over the moon and want to shout it from the rooftops, or feeling confused and need to talk it through with a close friend, you may prefer to share your news early.

Just because you’ve told a couple of close friends and family, it doesn’t mean everyone needs to know. You can ask your trusted few to keep your secret until you make it public. Not everybody needs to know at once, so you could always tell just a few specially selected people.

A personal decision

Pregnancy and parenthood are filled with personal decisions, and this is one of the first ones you need to make. Talk to your partner about the pros and cons of announcing early, and discuss what feels right to you. Together you can reach a decision that works for you as a couple. You don’t need to keep it a secret simply because other people do, but you also shouldn’t feel pressured to announce before you’re ready.

When did you share the good news, and who did you tell first?

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2018. All rights reserved.

When you discovered you were pregnant, you may have wanted to share the good news with friends and family. Perhaps you even imagined what their reactions might be – happy tears, heartfelt cuddles and, of course, congratulatory shrieks. But what happens if the pregnancy announcement doesn’t go to plan? How do you cope with bad reactions to your good news?

What causes negative reactions?

There are lots of reasons why an individual may react negatively to your news, and most of them have nothing to do with your news, and everything to do with the person reacting negatively.

If the news is unexpected, it could have been shock that caused a less than positive reaction. If taken by surprise, people might react to things differently than if the news was expected. Of course, that person should have been polite and masked their shock, but give them time to get used to the idea and see if they change their tune.

If you notice a slightly frosty reaction from friends and family, perhaps unbeknownst to you, the friend you told has been trying, unsuccessfully, to get pregnant for a number of years, and couldn’t help but feel disheartened at your news.

Alternatively, your bad reaction may have been from your fun-loving best friend. Perhaps she’s worried about losing you as a good friend as you settle down into the role of mother.

How to cope with bad reactions to your good news

Most importantly, don’t let it ruin your good news. You are excited and happy, and that’s all that really matters. Of course, you want your friends and family to be supportive, but try not to fixate on their negative reactions.

Talk to your supportive friends and family about the negative reactions. Talk openly about how it made you feel, and make sure to communicate all of this with your partner. If you are struggling with your emotions since the reactions, talk to your healthcare provider. They may be able to offer some support or advice to help you deal with the unexpected negativity.

Try not to obsess over the bad reactions, and instead focus on the good. Continue to plan for and look forward to the birth. Give your friends and family time to come round, often people feel more positively once they start to plan for the arrival of the new baby.

Give them a chance

Don’t preempt bad reactions, you may be surprised. While you be convinced your parents will be disappointed in you for falling pregnant, in reality they may be over the moon about becoming grandparents. Share your news, and give people the chance to react.

How did your friends and family react to the news of your pregnancy?

Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.