When you are pregnant and already have children at home, you will likely be warned by health care professionals to be careful when handling your older children. The problem is that it is difficult to explain to your 2-year-old why mommy cannot pick her up.  Or to tell your 3-year-old that you can no longer carry him to bed. The reality is that many women, pick up, carry and hold their older children (to an extent at least) during pregnancy just like they did before. So then the question arises, is it dangerous?

According to experts, you shouldn’t try to lift or carry anything more than 20 pounds during pregnancy.  And yes, this includes children.  Even so – chances are good that you will still hold your toddler – and that there will be times when they might need to be carried. The trick then is knowing how to do these things as safely as possible, so that you don’t cause any harm to yourself or your unborn baby.

The first thing to do is to make sure that you lift from the legs rather than utilize your lower back and abdominal muscles. Bend at the knees and hips, and avoid bending at the waist. Also, sometimes rather than picking up your child, you can more easily crouch down to their level to give hugs and snuggles, or even swoop them up onto your lap. If you carry your toddler, it will be most comfortable to do so below your baby bump. Remember, your in utero baby is protected in a wonderfully saturated padding of amniotic fluid – so holding your toddler should in no way hurt your baby.

There are of course, a few exceptions. If you have a short cervix, have had a cerclage, have had pre-term labor, or have been told by a doctor that you should not be lifting your toddler or anything heavier than a watermelon – don’t do it.

Obviously, the last thing a mother wants to do is ‘push away’ or make her older child feel less important when she is pregnant with another. This is why it is important that you find ways to maintain physical closeness with your child, without lifting or carrying. And, trust that your toddler is old enough to understand that you have to be careful because you have a baby in your belly. You might be surprised how quickly toddlers can begin sibling bonding, rather than rivalry.

Later in pregnancy, it is definitely best to avoid lifting anything heavy at all. This in no way means that you cannot hold, rock or allow your toddler to sit on your lap. In fact, cherish these moments with your toddler while you can, because pretty soon they will go from being a one and only, to a brother or sister and will have to share your attention at all times!

Written By Stef, Mom of 4 @Momspirational

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2018. All rights reserved.

A lot of people go into family building with a plan in mind of their perfect family size, and exactly how that will all pan out. They know how many kids they want, and what age difference they are hoping for in between.

Of course, once you actually become parents, those plans may go out the door. That’s because a lot of things can change once you realize what all is involved in child rearing, so that the family who once wanted 3 kids all close together, may no longer feel the same way. Or the family who once believed they would have only one, suddenly finds themselves thinking they might like one or two more.

There is only so much you can plan for in this life, and family building often has a lot of hurdles you might never have expected before you began your family. But if you are here now, with your first little one over 6 months old, and you find yourself yearning for another baby—what do you need to consider?

Baby bunching is the term used for having two children under the age of 2—it’s what happens when you add to your family while you still have a first in diapers. And for a lot of families, it’s the ideal way to go. But there are pros and cons to keep in mind.

First, the pros:

• Siblings closer in age may have a better chance of growing up as friends and playing happily alongside each other.
• The similar age of development will also mean your kids are into a lot of the same things at the same time—which means the toys in the playroom will suit both your kids, and the movies or activities you plan later in life will be at age level for each of them.
• If you started family building later in life, baby bunching may be your best option for having more than one.

Of course, there are also cons to think about:

• In terms of the health of your pregnancy (and being able to go full term) most doctors recommend waiting at least 12 months after the birth of one child before trying for the next.
• Ideally, you would also want to be done breastfeeding before trying for your second—while some women do still breastfeed while pregnant, this can be hard on your body and could result in less nutrients for you or your unborn baby.
• Having two little ones at the same time, still in diapers and still pretty reliant upon you, can be a lot of work—sometimes it is easier if you wait until the first is at least mobile and potty trained.

Of course, ultimately, how you build your family is a very personal decision, and only you can know what is best for yours. So weigh the pros and cons, and then make the family building choices that feel right to you!

Written by Leah Campbell, infertility advocate, adoptive mama, writer and editor. Find me @sifinalaska on Twitter.

 This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general informational basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

When and how to build upon your family is always such a personal decision. But it seems that for those who do want more children, around one year of age is when the discussion of, “Is now the time for a second baby?” starts to crop up.

That’s because your baby has somehow morphed in the last 12 months from a helpless little being who sucked you of all your time, sleep, and energy, into an interactive and ever-changing little person who seems more and more grownup every single day.

Still, are you ready for a second child already?

Well… again, that’s personal. But there are plenty of factors to consider. Including:

• Desire: Do both members of your relationship feel ready and excited about trying again? Or is one still on the fence and wanting to wait a bit longer?
• Timing: Does your little one seem like he or she might be ready for a sibling within the next year? Or do you think your family could still use a bit more time adjusting to your family of three dynamic before adding a fourth?
• Age: While no couple wants to allow age to be a determining factor in whether or not they try to conceive, the reality is that after 35, your chances of getting pregnant do go down. So it’s fair to take your biological clock into consideration, especially if you had any issues conceiving the first time around.
• Money: Can you afford a second child at this point? Does that mean two daycare tuitions? Or extra diapers? Or formula?
• Space: Do you have room in your home to accommodate a second child?

There is no perfect point at which to begin considering a second child. For some families, keeping the little ones close in age is important—they like the idea of a less than two year age gap that will encourage siblings to play together in the years to come. For other families, larger age gaps seem to have been ideal—they brag about how nice it is to have an older sibling who can help with the baby, and who is cognitively aware of why having a new baby might mean a little less attention is paid to them.

There is no one right answer here. The best you can do is to discuss the various factors with your partner, and then come up with a plan together on when you may be ready to start trying again. Most doctors recommend waiting at least a year after a child’s birth before attempting to get pregnant once more, simply because a woman’s body needs time to recover from all that pregnancy and labor put it through. But you’re there. So if you decide that now is the time to begin trying for your second: good luck!

Written by Leah Campbell, infertility advocate, adoptive mama, writer and editor. Find me @sifinalaska on Twitter.

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general informational basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.