With all the changes going on, both physically and mentally, it’s little wonder your relationship is feeling a little neglected. As you prepare to welcome your child into the world, and adjust to seeing your partner as a parent, you may find that the romance is suffering. So, how can you nurture your relationship during pregnancy?
1. Invest in some baby-free days – it can sometimes feel that every spare hour is spent preparing for the baby. When you’re not at your desk or asleep (or asleep at your desk if it’s the first trimester), you’re writing baby lists, shopping for baby items or reading about parenting. It’s official, the baby has taken over your life. Now is the time to claw back a bit of personal time, so that you can make the most of your partner before the baby is born (and really does take over your life). Set aside some baby-free days where everything baby-related is out of bounds. No prenatal classes, no worrying, and no internet research. Think back to your pre-pregnancy days, and spend some time doing the things you used to do as a couple. If your schedules and to-do list allow it, try to have a baby-free day every few weeks for the duration of the pregnancy.
2. Spend time as a couple preparing for the baby – this is the polar opposite of the above point, but both are equally important. Some dads-to-be feel left out during pregnancy, and feel they are not as involved as they would like to be. Get your partner involved in the decision-making process – let him coo over tiny baby outfits with you, choose colours for the nursery, and chat about what life will be like once the baby arrives. Prenatal classes are a great way to get him involved in the pregnancy, and will help to prepare him for the birth as well as life as a new parent. You don’t need to spend all of your time together discussing the baby, but make sure you involve him in decisions and discussions. The overwhelming majority of men want to be part of this process, and some end up feeling pushed out when they aren’t.
3. Go dating – no, not dating other people to check you made the right decision – go on a date with your partner. No doubt you have been told this so many times you’re sick of hearing it, but it’s true. You really should make the most of the time you have before the baby arrives. The first few months of parenting are amazing, but also exhausting. It’s easy for weeks to slip by without you really noticing the missed time together. So, while you are waiting for the baby to arrive, try to have regular date nights. Go for meals, go to the cinema, and go for day trips – do all the things that may become more difficult once you’re a family of three.
4. Go away for a weekend – if you’re currently saving up to buy all your big baby items, a weekend away is probably the last thing on your mind. Remember though, it will be at least a little trickier to get away once the baby arrives. So if you can, try to have a mini break during your pregnancy. Whether you opt for two weeks away, a mini break, or simply a weekend together with no distractions, try to spend a block of quality time together before the baby arrives.
5. Get intimate – all pregnancies are different. While some women may find themselves constantly distracted by arousal, others may be completely put off the idea of sex altogether. If you don’t want to have sex, there are other ways you can enjoy intimacy during pregnancy. From affectionate massages (particularly good if you’re suffering from aches and pains), to relaxing baths together, make sure you are spending time with your partner. If you don’t want to have sex, be honest with your partner about this. If you do want to have sex, you may have to experiment with positions until you find one that is comfortable.
How are you nurturing your relationship during pregnancy?
Written by Fiona (@Fiona_Peacock), mother, writer and lover of all things baby related.
This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2018. All rights reserved.