“So, what do you do all day?,” my friend asked. At the time, she didn’t have any children yet, and I had two. I had decided to quit working outside the home when my oldest was born. My days were full – of changing diapers, washing and folding laundry, fixing meals, and, more importantly, cuddling and loving my small children.

The realities of being a stay-at-home mom, however, can be challenging for some. As one well-known reality television star put it, “It’s so boring!” There were days when it was raining outside, we had nowhere that we needed to go, and I didn’t have a single ounce of patience or time for crafts and nutritious meals. I was tired of doing the same old puzzles, reading the same old books, watching repeats of DVDs we’d already seen, and naptime couldn’t come soon enough. But those days were rare.

Did I miss being out among adults in the working world? Sometimes. When my husband was working longer hours, I might go the whole day conversing only with a one-year-old and three-year-old. It was hard not to envy at least a little intellectual stimulation that comes from even the simplest small talk with others my own age.

Did I miss the intellectual challenge of work and study? Sometimes. But I was able to do a lot of reading, and the Internet made a huge difference in being connected to resources to further my education and interests. The library became a favorite resource – for me and for my kids.

Here are some ideas to help you stay sane if you’re having trouble adjusting to being a stay-at-home mom:

– Find something creative you like to do, and do it without kids. Whether it’s writing, reading, painting, crocheting, exercising, hiking, shopping – whatever – find some time every week to do it without kids in tow. When my youngest was a baby, I attended a “play group” (which was essentially a way for new moms to get out of the house), and a group of us moms started meeting once a week for tea, coffee and gossip. Mostly we talked about our families, but at least we did it without having to find anything, wipe anything or yell at anyone.

– Get out of the house with your kids often. This doesn’t need to be to attend a structured program or playdate. Simply take a walk around the block, go dig in the garden together, play at the park, or toss a ball around on the porch. Fresh air and sunshine will do everyone a world of good.

– Have a routine. Kids thrive on structure. Having a predictable daily schedule may help you feel a little more in control, and will help you break up your day a little. If you know your baby naps from one to three, you won’t feel so stressed building block houses with her until then. While she sleeps, you can pay bills, fold laundry or clean the cat litter.

– Play. Don’t forget to have fun with your kids. Take time every day to get down on the floor with your kids and do something they enjoy. Set up a huge farm, and let him add his dinosaurs to the cow pen. Build skyscrapers with wooden blocks. Put puzzles together. Play simple board games. Talk, imagine, create, enjoy. It is so cliché to say this, but they’ll only be little once. You’ll never regret the time you spent enjoying your children.

It can be boring with a newborn – babies just don’t do much. They need lots and don’t give much in return. But as my children grew and started to show their own little personalities, it was like meeting someone new, someone who you wanted to get to know better. I was taken on a journey of never-ending discovery watching them learn new skills every day. Being able to stay at home with my children is an immense blessing. I feel amazingly thankful that we’ve chosen to have less stuff in order to have more connection with our children. I wouldn’t trade this abundance for any other life.

Written by Michelle, childbirth instructor, lactation consultant, and mother to 4 busy kids

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

You know you work hard all day – childcare, housekeeping, and maybe even paid employment on top of it all. It’s not easy, and it’s often thankless. While motherhood does come with its own rewards, what if you were rewarded in terms of a paycheck?

Here’s the median annual salary (in 2014 US dollars) for a number of jobs moms routinely perform (taken from a recent survey by salary.com):

• CEO     $167,900
• Psychologist     $81,000
• Facilities Manager     $65,800
• IT / Computer Tech     $34,200
• Cook     $29,200
• Van Driver     $28,400
• Day Care Teacher     $26,700
• Housekeeper     $21,200
• Janitor     $21,100
• Laundry Operator     $21,000

If you calculate the number of hours at each of these jobs during a regular work week (including overtime pay), stay-at-home moms would earn an average of US$118,000 annually, and working moms would earn an average of US$70,000 annually in addition to their pay from their out-of-home employment. Add to that other family jobs you might do – nurse, accountant, administrative assistant, logistics supervisor – and you would probably make even more!

Studies about how moms work have found that stay-at-home moms work about 90 hours each week, mainly doing the tasks for the jobs listed above. For moms who are employed outside the home, 50 hours per week is still devoted to their “mom jobs” in addition to their paid employment.

In the US, 70% of women with children work outside the home, and many of these women are the main breadwinners for their families. While partners are doing more, a disproportionate share of the housekeeping and childcare still falls on moms.

While the pay scale may be different around the world, the fact that moms put in many hours of skilled labor without a paycheck is true nearly everywhere. Take a moment to appreciate yourself and all the work you do. Remind other moms that they are doing a great job, and call your own mom to thank her for the time she put in at all the odd jobs without pay.

Then, remind yourself of the rewards you do get – watching your children learn and grow is sometimes payment enough.

Written by Michelle, childbirth instructor, lactation consultant, and mother to 4 busy kids

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice.  All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.

Let’s face it – all mothers work. Women don’t make the decision to return-to-work or to stay-at-home lightly. And neither choice is right or wrong – it all depends on your family’s needs. You’re the best judge of what’s right for you.

If you’re on the fence about returning to work, here are some points to consider:

• Your finances: First and foremost, can your budget adjust to a decrease in income for your family? If you want to stay home and just can’t figure out how to do it, sit down and take a good look at where all of your money goes each month. See if there are ways to make changes that would make staying at home an option.

• Childcare choices: Consider the cost of childcare when working on your budget. Will your working cause you to spend more than you make, effectively negating your salary? Are there waiting lists at the day care you most want to use? Would it be less cost to employ someone in your home? Do you have a flexible job that will let you bring baby along for the first few months?

• Work options: Does your employer offer telecommuting, so you can work at least part of your hours from home? Could you return to work part time rather than full time? Is job sharing (where two people split the hours and duties for one job) an option? Is your employer willing to let you work flexible hours (four nine-hour days, for example, with three days off each week)?

• Career advancement: How will not working affect your advancement in your profession? Some women consider “sequencing,” dropping out of the paid workforce while their children are young, and re-entering later when the demands of motherhood are less.

• Breastfeeding: Many women successfully combine working and breastfeeding. But consider what you will need in order to do this. Do you have a breast pump? Have you considered where and when you will pump at work? Have you discussed it with your supervisor ahead of your maternity leave, or is this a topic you still need to broach?

While some women are able to take a long paid maternity leave, the reality in the US is that most mothers are back to work very soon after the birth of their baby. And for some families, this is just fine. Maybe before the birth, you had every intention to return to your job; but now that your baby is here, you can’t imagine leaving him every day. Or maybe your job’s demands aren’t compatible with having a family, and you need to either find a different position or stay home. Or maybe you decided even before birth that you wanted to stay at home. Whatever your situation, the decision-making needs to be planned for your family’s well being.

How did you decide whether or not to return to work outside the home?

Written by Michelle, childbirth instructor, lactation consultant, and mother to 4 busy kids 

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice.  All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.