You’re a mom now, and a lot has changed. Before you had your baby, you might not have spent a lot of time thinking about how your close friendships might change. But then suddenly, your little bundle arrives, and it’s not as easy to hang out with your BFF’s. Your priorities may have shifted, and you don’t have as much free time.
But being a mom does not mean you have to neglect your friendships. In fact, you need your friends as much as ever to lend a sympathetic ear, give advice or enjoy a night out with.
Keep in mind, similar to other relationships, friendships can go through a period of transition. For example, you might find you’re gravitating towards your friends who also have children. It just might be easier to plan activities where you can bring your babies. You might also be meeting other moms and making new friends.
But is it possible to stay close to your friends who don’t have kids? The answer is yes. Consider some of the following suggestions:
Be realistic about your expectations. In your pre-baby life, you may have gone for drinks every Friday night or went on marathon shopping trips. But now your time is limited. Don’t expect to spend the same amount of time with your friends as you used to, especially while your child is still a baby.
Respect your friend’s choices. Few things are as annoying as marginalizing your friend’s life if they don’t have kids. If your buddies enjoy hanging out at clubs or doing things you don’t enjoy, don’t belittle their choices.
Make time to connect. Friendships need to be nurtured. Even if you don’t have as much time as you used to, make time to connect. For example, you might not have an entire evening to hang out, but maybe you can catch up over coffee or go for a run together. The bottom line is you want your friends to know they are still important to you.
Don’t always bring your baby: Sure, you love your baby and everyone else should too, right? But sometimes your friends want to visit with you and not your mini-me. Also, while you’re at it, don’t monopolize the conversation talking about every cute thing your baby does. Of course, you want to share your experiences as a mom, just not every minute.
Know when it’s time to let go: There may be instances, where certain friendships are hard to maintain. You may just be in entirely different places, with different interests and priorities. While it might be sad to have a friendship seem to run its course, it may not be for good. Things may change, and your friendship may get renewed if your friend becomes a parent.
Written by MaryAnn [email protected]
This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2016. All rights reserved.