Pregnancy After Loss

The loss of a child is an experience you may never truly recover from. It is likely that you will carry with you part of that grief for the rest of your life, although your emotions will become more manageable over time. Though you may be excited when you discover you are pregnant again, you may feel more worried than excited, at least for a little while.

It is important to remember that experiencing a miscarriage in the past, does not increase your chances of suffering another miscarriage. Many women who experience miscarriages go on to have problem-free healthy pregnancies.

You may find yourself feeling worried and anxious about the pregnancy, and may lose sleep over concern for your pregnancy. Anxiety is common during pregnancies after loss, and you may find that time seems to pass very slowly throughout this pregnancy. You may find that you feel less anxious once your pregnancy has progressed past the timing of your previous miscarriage. Some women find that hearing their baby’s heartbeat for the first time, or seeing their baby on an ultrasound scan, reduces the feelings of anxiety.

How to cope with the worry

Your experience is unique to you, and you will need to find your own path to ease your worry. You may find the following tips useful, however, as ways of reducing or coping with your anxieties over the pregnancy:

take care of yourself – do all that you can to ensure you are having a healthy pregnancy. Eat a healthy, balanced diet, drink plenty of water, and take regular exercise. Rest when you feel tired, and make sure you are trusting your instincts and listening to what your body tells you.
relax – take some time out at the end of each day to clear your mind. Meditation, yoga, or even just a long soak in the bath, could be all you need to help yourself relax at the end of the day. Clear your mind of negative thoughts and worries, and instead spend some time thinking positively, focusing on the fact that you are pregnant right now, and making sure you feel calm.
be honest – a problem shared is a problem halved. Talk to your partner about how you feel, he may be able to reassure or comfort you during times of worry. Speak to your mum, best friend, or an online support group of strangers – whoever you feel comfortable opening up to.
talk to your healthcare provider – your healthcare provider is there to support you during pregnancy, as well as during the birth. Be honest about how you are feeling, and any worries you may have. Your healthcare provider may be able to offer advice to calm your nerves, practical help in the form of extra check ups, or support simply by listening to you.

Announcing the news

Some couples choose to wait before announcing the pregnancy for fear of another loss. For others, however, the support of friends and family is a must, and so the news is shared earlier. Whether you wait until after the scan, or tell people straight away, is a personal decision that only you and your partner can make.

Written by Fiona, proud owner of a toddler, @fiona_peacock

This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical doctor. Health & Parenting Ltd disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information, which is provided to you on a general information basis only and not as a substitute for personalized medical advice. All contents copyright © Health & Parenting Ltd 2017. All rights reserved.

What’s Different About a Second Pregnancy

If this is your second pregnancy, you’re probably already aware that things are different the second time round. Your symptoms may be totally different, or exactly the same, but it will feel like a completely new pregnancy either way. Here are a few reasons why a second pregnancy is such a different experience:

1. It will fly by – whether you spend your time changing nappies, navigating the terrible twos, or helping your first child with homework, you will be distracted from the pregnancy. Gone are the days where you could just sit and think about being pregnant. This time round you’ll be so busy being a mum, you won’t be watching the weeks tick slowly by, instead you’ll be wondering where on earth they’ve gone.

2. Less time to focus on the pregnancy – you are likely to have less free time to think about the pregnancy, because you’re already busy taking care of a child. You may not put in as many hours into daydreaming about this pregnancy, but that doesn’t mean you’re not just as excited.

3. Less time means less worrying – a combination of less time and more confidence mean you are likely to spend less time worrying during this pregnancy. After all, you’ve been there, done that. There will be lots of things that terrified you last pregnancy that you will take in your stride this time.

4. Focused worrying – any problems you did face last time, however, you may find yourself obsessing over. Whether you had trouble breastfeeding, suffered from post natal depression, or simply made some parenting choices you’d rather avoid this time round, try not to get overly worried during this pregnancy. Knowledge is power, and because you know what to look out for, you can arm yourself with support and knowledge to fight your demons. Speak to your healthcare provider about any worries or concerns you may have.

5. You will worry about your love – you may worry that you simply won’t be able to love a second child as much as you love your first. When your first child was born, you felt a love so strong and overwhelming that it made you question whether you had ever really loved before. The idea of feeling such a strong emotion again can be difficult, but fear not, because you will. You will love your second every bit as much as you love your first, and will one day look back and laugh that you ever questioned you would.

Are you currently pregnant with your second (or more) child? What is missing from the above list?

Written by Fiona, proud owner of a toddler, @fiona_peacock